I have blogged for about two years now. When I started, I aspired to connect with hundreds if not thousands of readers who might find musings about my small life of interest. Afterall, this is the Internet so theoretically any post could be read by millions.
Two years in, my perspective has changed. I will never be an A list blogger. Not even a Z list. My readership is small. Most days my hits can be counted on two hands. There are about a dozen who subscribe to my RSS feed, and a half dozen that leave comments. It also happens to be the same handful of individuals whose blogs I comment on. And therein lies the great blogging paradox.
Here we have a communication medium that is completely open, free for anyone to peruse, yet at the same time it is extremely intimate. Other than my business associates, I don’t have many close “real life” friends ⎯true friends is what my daughter would call them. Perhaps only five or six who I check in with every few months. Most don’t live in Idaho. On the other hand, I have blogging friends, who because of the medium, I keep closer tabs on than my real life friends. When they don’t post for a while I wonder if they are okay. I joy in their successes and am saddened by their sorrows. I care for them.
Yet, in some ways I don’t know them at all. I’ve never seen them in person. Never heard them speak. Most I don’t even know their real names. They don’t share everything about their lives so I have filled in the gaps myself. My blogging friends are part real and part imaginary. It’s quite possible that if I met them in person and got to know them better we wouldn’t get along. Possible, but not likely.
I have another part real and part imaginary friend. We have been corresponding by mail for over a year. He is in his 24th year of a life sentence without parole at the Alabama State Prison. We exchange letters every three or four weeks. I have learned much from him about patience and hope. A while back he called me on the phone. His voice startled me. It wasn’t the voice I expected. My mind had ascribed a voice to his words on the page. A pleasant Midwestern voice. This man on the phone spoke with a Southern drawl. His real demeanor was piercing the life I had imagined.
I adapted. Now his written voice sounds more Southern, and I have less gaps to fill in. Just as there are less gaps to imagine for my blogging friends as they slowly reveal themselves month by month. That is what keeps me blogging and reading a few blogs. The thrill of the imaginary becoming real.