
I spent the past two days on the road after a month of not going anywhere. I am always amazed how green an arid place like San Diego looks after experiencing Idaho snow for four weeks. Georges at the Cove is my new favorite Southern California restaurant. The squash soup was the best I have tasted. Squash is sublime when prepared in a soup or a Thai coconut curry; smooth as cream, the color of a crisp autumn day. Dinner was all the more pleasant because I was with a good friend and business partner; a rare treat because I usually travel alone on business.
We had a few minutes before our reservation so we visited several of La Jolla’s art galleries. We must have had art neophytes written on our foreheads because the staff at the first gallery didn’t even rise from their desks to ask if we were interested in anything. It begs the question what does a typical art buyer look like.
We had better luck at the second gallery. The saleswoman, or should I say curator⎯what do you call an art gallery worker?⎯showed us around her shop, explaining the background of each artist, and in the case of the abstract pieces, telling us what they depicted.
She’d peer over her red reading glasses, the silver chains dangling and say, “This artist is from China and he likes bushes. Those are shrubs. You can see them better if you step back a little. Or if, you would like, I can hang this one in the other room where we have brighter lights and you can better imagine what it would look like in your home.” Perhaps she thought we illuminate our homes with floodlights.
The woman was congenial, yet still managed to ask the art world equivalent of the loaded question. Instead of used car salesmanish, “What monthly payment were you trying to stay at?” She asked, “What kind of art do you collect?”
This was clearly an attempt to size up our art world prowess. There is no way to answer that question without exposing one’s complete lack of art sophistication. Unless of course, you actually collect art⎯which I don’t, except for one small painting I bought LaPriel last year while in Australia. I answered the curator the same way I answer all questions I don’t like. I pretended I didn’t hear her. So she change tact and asked a trick question.
“Are you looking for something to match your furniture?”
We didn’t fall for it.
“No,” we said.
“Good,” she said. “Fine art matches any furniture.”
We ended up by the front door where there was a series of paintings by a Russian couple, who apparently tag team when they paint. All of the paintings were of their teenage daughter. In some, the beautiful blonde was walking on the beach. In others, she posed under a tree or strolled through a garden. I glanced at my watch, noting it was time for our dinner reservation, just as the curator went into a lengthy story about how the daughter had defaced one of her dad’s paintings right before a prestigious exhibition, and the wife, not wanting to upset her husband, had repainted it, only to see the painting win first prize.
I didn’t ask if the daughter had done this because she got tired of being painted. Or perhaps her being the subject of all her parents’ art was punishment for slapping her dad's prized canvas with a paint-soaked four-inch brush. Whatever the reason, the curator soberly informed us the painting of the girl at the beach was the artists’ favorite and if we wanted that one we would have to buy at least twelve of the Russians’ paintings.
I suppose if I had done so, next time I visited an art gallery I could then answer the question, “What kind of art do you collect?”
“I only collect paintings of bratty Russian teenagers”